How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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