i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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