porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
