we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
