You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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