So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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