Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Houston, we have a blender
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
