im six kinds of drunk right now
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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