i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
