I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
