yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
