i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
