She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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