Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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