well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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