"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize