i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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