Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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