There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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