That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
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you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
dude. I can hear the air.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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