i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
