Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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