Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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