Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
