? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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