its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
