I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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