Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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