he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
