It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize