So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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