Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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