I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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