I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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