his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
