ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
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