all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Let's get the cat blown out
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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