We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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