I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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