I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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