He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
