I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
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All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
did you just send me my own nude
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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