hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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