my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
