I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
