I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
