So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
