my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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