people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
