I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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