gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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