so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
