these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
