I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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