Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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