Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Randomize