bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
