Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
