Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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