I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Holy shit dude........stairs
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
