he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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