the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize