somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
