So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
