You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here