i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba